Some days, like today, when my right sock keeps riding down in my shoe, and I know the grapes I brought for lunch are neither sweet nor crisp, and the sound of my coworker’s typing makes me want to gouge my eyes out (what’s the point of typing 7,000 WPM when I can HEAR you backspacing constantly to fix all the typos you wouldn’t have made if you typed at a more dignified speed?!?!), I medicate myself by drinking Diet Coke and hot coffee at the same time. Not mixed in the same cup or anything. More like alternating swigs. There’s something about two sources of caffeine plus carbonation plus the hot-cold contrast that makes me less angry. My theory is that it’s kind of like an oral version of that wintertime invigoration thing where you go in the sauna and then go in the snow and then back in the sauna. I might get an ulcer but at least I’ll be relaxed!
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